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1. Here are a bunch of vintage ads that make ya miss the good old days.
2. While I’ve never actually ordered anything from a catalog, it’s my favorite thing to curl up with before bedtime (husband-second, dog-third). I’ve often wondered why I seem to have gotten stupider in my domestic bliss, but after reading the captions at Catalog Living, I think I know why. I guess I’ll have to trade in the catalogs for Freedom like all the other Oprah housewives.
Urning the Right: 
The only things Elaine treasures more than her prized blue and white urn collection are the framed drawings of her blue and white urn collection.
3. Then, there’s a site called: graphjam.com
4. And, last but not least, there’s the new guy on SNL…
Thanks Molly and Phil for sharing. Email: myprincipality@gmail.com with ideas for next week’s Time Suck Thursday.
Things got weird while we were cleaning out my hubby’s childhood closet and we found this in his comic book collection. At first, I thought it was a sign that we were meant to be together. Then, I thought it might be a sign that he didn’t love me. But now, I think it might be a sign that he’s gay. Why’d he buy a comic called “Girls’ Love Stories”?
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Did she get ready in a slapdash rush…did her husband help with the metal snaps that ran along her side…did she spritz perfume on her neck and wrists or prefer to walk into a cloud of scent…how long did she hold out hope for a daughter before resigning herself to the tender cruelty of raising four sons?
And did she have an inkling that, someday, her great-granddaughter—the baby she held in her sunspot dappled arms—would find her trunk, tucked away in a secret storage space at the family farm, and uncover these wrinkled dresses folded between 1930’s newspaper?
Your little voice…
your little voice
Over the wires came leaping
and i felt suddenly
dizzy
With the jostling and shouting of merry flowers
wee skipping high-heeled flames
courtesied before my eyes
or twinkling over to my side
Looked up
with impertinently exquisite faces
floating hands were laid upon me
I was whirled and tossed into delicious dancing
up
Up
with the pale important
stars and the Humorous
moon
dear girl
How i was crazy how i cried when i heard
over time
and tide and death
leaping
Sweetly
your voice-E E Cummings
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wise words from a world duathlete -
i dare you not to be inspired by this essay.
Jewelry by fashletics.
2010 has been a tough year for the ladies. The bachelorette watering hole Tijuana is a war zone, Sex and the City II was a bust, and Heidi Montag’s plastic surgeon drove off a cliff.
But before you get your panties in a bunch, check this out. Camelflage. God’s gift to women for 2010.
Yoga instructors across the nation are rejoicing.
I have a paper goods fetish. I love post cards, note cards, journals, holiday cards, and greeting cards for every occasion. I would rather stand in a museum gift shop and admire the art reprinted on a post card than stare at the real thing on the wall.
I like writing inside the cards despite my grotesque penmanship. And I am pretty good at putting a stamp on the envelope (how I miss the glue lick kind). But, I lose momentum somewhere between my desk and the mail box. I routinely find old birthday cards and thank you notes I never got around to sending.
Fitzgerald Coleman is having a closing sale. Everything in stock is FIFTY PERCENT off. And if you register, they throw in free shipping. Everyone seems to be getting hitched and knocked up these days. Might as well stock up!
In early June, before bed bugs became the sensational news story of summer 2010, I received a call from an elderly family member in need of help. We’ll call her Lucy. She is blind.
Dawn Vampires.
Lucy had been waking up at dawn with excruciating itching. She had suffered from eczema in the past and chalked it up to another extreme case of dry skin. But I had the itching suspicion it could be bed bugs.
Google Apartment Address.
I googled Lucy’s address, and sure enough, her building was listed on a bed bug watch site. Bed bugs crawl from apartment to apartment. There is rarely an isolated incident.
Get Inspected Immediately.
It’s natural to be so grossed out by bed bugs that you’d like to douse everything in gasoline. But don’t destroy the evidence yet. Before building management is willing to shell out a ton of money to fix the problem, the exterminator needs to prove there is a problem. Inspection is free.
Complacency is enemy Numero Uno.
Lucy had an extreme case of bed bugs. They were all over her mattress and bed stand. Again, she is blind, so she had no idea. The manager of Lucy’s building scheduled an inspection appointment with one of two extermination companies with whom they had a contract. They were busy; we’d have to wait days for an inspection and up to a week for the extermination. I asked to speak with the manager’s boss. And I called an outside extermination company. Here’s the thing. Managers have to follow the guidelines. They don’t want to get in trouble with their bosses. You need to speak to whoever is actually responsible for the building. Make them aware that it is in their financial interest to TREAT the problem. Your living in a bedbug infested apartment for a week is just going to create more issues for other apartments in the building.
Clear your schedule and drink your Muscle Milk.
Once the apartment has been inspected and you have scheduled a treatment time, get ready to work. It’s harder than moving. And you cannot even pay someone to help. No one will do it.
1. Every drawer must be sorted through and emptied. Place uncontaminated items in a garbage bag that will be tied up and left in the middle of the room during treatment.
2. Wash and dry everything you can on HIGH HEAT. Place clean, dry items in new trash bags. Tie them up. Label them CLEAN and store them elsewhere. I stapled index cards to the ties.
3. All furniture must be pushed away from the walls.
4. Throw away all clutter. Label bags “BEWARE BED BUGS”. You don’t want some other sucker to end up with your problem.
5. Mind the Gap. Have the building’s repair man (most likely wearing a hazmat suit) caulk all the cracks. Once the bugs are dead in your apartment, you don’t want more to be able to scurry through the cracks in the walls. Check under your sink and the back of your closet for gaps.
6. Vacuum. Place contaminated vacuum bags in sealed trash bags and again label “BED BUGS.”
7. If there are items that could be contaminated, but can’t be thrown in the dryer or chemically treated, seal them in trash bags and take to a storage unit. The little suckers will finally die after six to eight months. They are dormant unless they can sense that food (you, your kids, your pets) is around.
8. Shower and change into clean clothes. Throw your possibly contaminated clothes into another trash bag to be washed. There are lice shampoos you can use. But, the exterminator told me that you can use regular shampoo. They don’t bite and stick like ticks.
Ask about the heat treatment first.
Because the apartment building was having such a horrible outbreak, the owner of the building bit the bullet and ordered the much more expensive (and effective) heat treatment for Lucy’s apartment and surrounding apartments. Extreme heat kills bed bugs. It’s also non-toxic. The preparation is also significantly easier. Just remove everything that is heat sensitive and make sure none of it is contaminated with bed bugs. I wouldn’t have had to throw out so many of Lucy’s unwashables, if we could have done the heat treatment first.
Be a loud mouth.
Building managers don’t want residents to freak out. They also don’t want potential renters to steer clear. Bed bugs are bad for business. However, it is in your best interest to let everyone know about the problem. Residents must be vigilant and check their own mattresses and nip any new bed bug uprisings in the bud.
RULES FOR BED BUG PREVENTION.
Don’t dumpster dive.
When you see something on the sidewalk, think twice before hauling it home. It could be contaminated with dormant bed bugs.
Having a one night stand? Do yourself a favor. Check the corners of the mattress.
The exterminator told me that it doesn’t matter how fancy a hotel is, it matters who stayed in the room before you. Inspect the corners of the mattress pad. If there are any little dark spots, change rooms or hotels.
Invest in mattress and pillow covers.
Mattresses and box springs are expensive. Protect your investment by wrapping them in zip around covers.
Get rid of clutter.
Bed bugs love to hide in clutter. They also love to live in all that crap under your bed.
Empty that suitcase.
I throw all my clothes in the wash as soon as I get home and inspect my suitcase. I’d like to avoid any unwelcome souvenirs.
Grumps’ Cottage Rules, originally posted in my Michigan Summers blog in February 2008:
My grandfather is a benevolent curmudgeon. He loves order, Switzerland, Mercedes, and opera. He prefers his animals stuffed and his television (CNBC) on mute. And if a telemarketer calls at dinner time, he answers with:
Oh God, I thought you were the doctor. The baby’s dying.
The telemarketer hangs up mortified and my grandfather laughs.
Grumps and I used to suds our hair in the lake. He taught me that ivory soap floats and that a troll lives under our dock. Grumps replaced the dock this year and he called to say that the troll had left since his habitat had been destroyed. I cried and wished for the summers when Grumps had hair to wash and I felt clean scrubbing with the fish.
My Grandfather’s Ridiculous and Hilarious Rebuttal:
A small correction, the telemarketer hears: “My God, My God, I thought you were the doctor. The baby just died!” That does the trick. They are using Grumps’ time at Grumps’ dinner time so Grumps uses a little of theirs. Turnabout is fair play.
I remember most of the rules that, by the way, descended from my knowledge of and adherence to the rather strict teachings of my Mongol Mentor, Ghengis Kahn (not Herman Kahn) and the somewhat softer approach of my friend, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Spiritual Leader of the Tibetan people. Compromise that does not reflect weakness, I have learned, is the true answer in life and in dealing with children and certain friends and animals. But I do not recall the “corners on the rugs rule.” Maybe that happened during the cocktail hour.
Please keep up the good work!
-Grumps
My grandfather passed away this month. We will be going Up North to say our goodbyes. He could be a tough general; we always strived to do our best for him, and God knows he could make me burst into tears; but he also gave me the key to a wonderful magical world where chipmunks ate out of my hand, stuffed animals talked, and a troll lived under the dock. It seems almost impossible to walk into that cottage and not have him there. I will always cherish the dozens of Michigan summers I had with that great man. xoxo, ellie mutt.
Here’s a taste of my latest article for CultureMap, Houston’s online magazine. Houston’s Internet Comedy Trio Lampoons TMZ & Lost: Meet Team Tiger Awesome (you’ll laugh).
How did this Los Angeles based comedy team form? They met by way of Texas. Let’s flashback to 1992. Nick Mundy, age 11, and Clint Gage, age 10, live on the same block in Spring. They aren’t friends. Mundy invites Gage to participate in a neighborhood game of football. Gage, sensible even at the age of 10, politely declines; tackle football on cement doesn’t interest him. Eventually, after weeks of Mundy’s badgering, Gage caves in and agrees to play. The game ends when a kid gets tackled into a mailbox and breaks his collarbone. As a result, Gage spends his wonder years terrified of Mundy. In the summer of 2001, Gage walks into CompUSA as a printer representative and reconnects with Mundy, who happens to work there. The guys bond over a common interest: Filmmaking. Mundy graduates from University of St. Thomas. Gage studies at Texas Christian University where he collaborates with Michael Truly on his senior film project. Mundy parties with the guys at TCU on the weekends. The Texas stars align and you have Team Tiger Awesome. Well, not exactly… READ THE REST OF THE ARTICLE HERE.
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![Beach Ball Raquet Set
Milly Mykonos Tile Bikini [Ebay. Size Large. $33]
Missoni Home Lorenzo Beach Towel
Sea Bags
K. Jacques Picon Sandals
La Mer Seaside Charm Wrap Watch in White [on sale!]
Ray-Ban ClubMaster
Pins and Needles Piped Sailor Romper [sale $29.99]. I actually bought this for the cruise, threw it in the dryer on accident, and will now save it in case I ever go as a slutty sailor for Halloween or audition for Anything Goes.](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l74bh4KD481qc69zco1_500.jpg)