My Principality

In early June, before bed bugs became the sensational news story of summer 2010, I received a call from an elderly family member in need of help. We’ll call her Lucy. She is blind.

Dawn Vampires.

Lucy had been waking up at dawn with excruciating itching. She had suffered from eczema in the past and chalked it up to another extreme case of dry skin. But I had the itching suspicion it could be bed bugs. 

Google Apartment Address.

I googled Lucy’s address, and sure enough, her building was listed on a bed bug watch site. Bed bugs crawl from apartment to apartment. There is rarely an isolated incident.

Get Inspected Immediately.

It’s natural to be so grossed out by bed bugs that you’d like to douse everything in gasoline. But don’t destroy the evidence yet. Before building management is willing to shell out a ton of money to fix the problem, the exterminator needs to prove there is a problem. Inspection is free.

Complacency is enemy Numero Uno.

Lucy had an extreme case of bed bugs. They were all over her mattress and bed stand. Again, she is blind, so she had no idea. The manager of Lucy’s building scheduled an inspection appointment with one of two extermination companies  with whom they had a contract. They were busy; we’d have to wait days for an inspection and up to a week for the extermination. I asked to speak with the manager’s boss. And I called an outside extermination company. Here’s the thing. Managers have to follow the guidelines. They don’t want to get in trouble with their bosses. You need to speak to whoever is actually responsible for the building. Make them aware that it is in their financial interest to TREAT the problem. Your living in a bedbug infested apartment for a week is just going to create more issues for other apartments in the building. 

Clear your schedule and drink your Muscle Milk.

Once the apartment has been inspected and you have scheduled a treatment time, get ready to work. It’s harder than moving. And you cannot even pay someone to help. No one will do it. 

1. Every drawer must be sorted through and emptied. Place uncontaminated items in a garbage bag that will be tied up and left in the middle of the room during treatment.

2. Wash and dry everything you can on HIGH HEAT. Place clean, dry items in new trash bags. Tie them up. Label them CLEAN and store them elsewhere. I stapled index cards to the ties. 

3. All furniture must be pushed away from the walls. 

4. Throw away all clutter. Label bags “BEWARE BED BUGS”. You don’t want some other sucker to end up with your problem. 

5. Mind the Gap. Have the building’s repair man (most likely wearing a hazmat suit) caulk all the cracks. Once the bugs are dead in your apartment, you don’t want more to be able to scurry through the cracks in the walls. Check under your sink and the back of your closet for gaps.

6. Vacuum. Place contaminated vacuum bags in sealed trash bags and again label “BED BUGS.”

7. If there are items that could be contaminated, but can’t be thrown in the dryer or chemically treated, seal them in trash bags and take to a storage unit. The little suckers will finally die after six to eight months. They are dormant unless they can sense that food (you, your kids, your pets) is around. 

8. Shower and change into clean clothes. Throw your possibly contaminated clothes into another trash bag to be washed. There are lice shampoos you can use. But, the exterminator told me that you can use regular shampoo. They don’t bite and stick like ticks. 

Ask about the heat treatment first.

Because the apartment building was having such a horrible outbreak, the owner of the building bit the bullet and ordered the much more expensive (and effective) heat treatment for Lucy’s apartment and surrounding apartments. Extreme heat kills bed bugs. It’s also non-toxic. The preparation is also significantly easier. Just remove everything that is heat sensitive and make sure none of it is contaminated with bed bugs. I wouldn’t have had to throw out so many of Lucy’s unwashables, if we could have done the heat treatment first. 

Be a loud mouth.

Building managers don’t want residents to freak out. They also don’t want potential renters to steer clear. Bed bugs are bad for business. However, it is in your best interest to let everyone know about the problem. Residents must be vigilant and check their own mattresses and nip any new bed bug uprisings in the bud.

RULES FOR BED BUG PREVENTION.

Don’t dumpster dive.

When you see something on the sidewalk, think twice before hauling it home. It could be contaminated with dormant bed bugs. 

Having a one night stand? Do yourself a favor. Check the corners of the mattress.

The exterminator told me that it doesn’t matter how fancy a hotel is, it matters who stayed in the room before you. Inspect the corners of the mattress pad. If there are any little dark spots, change rooms or hotels. 

Invest in mattress and pillow covers.

Mattresses and box springs are expensive. Protect your investment by wrapping them in zip around covers.

Get rid of clutter.

Bed bugs love to hide in clutter. They also love to live in all that crap under your bed. 

Empty that suitcase.

I throw all my clothes in the wash as soon as I get home and inspect my suitcase. I’d like to avoid any unwelcome souvenirs.