My Principality

Not to brag, but I was once a luxury gift consultant for an A+ List celebrity. I was awesome at picking out cool, expensive nicknacks—an important life skill to have. But then, the stock market crashed and people suddenly got a conscience when it came to spending. Waa. Waa. 

But don’t worry. If you are rich, the tack is back. It’s headquarters? Needless Mark Up (Neiman Marcus). Have you seen this fabulous Tory Burch Family Chariot Electric Tricycle ($4,500)? Imagine hiring a chauffeur to cycle you around downtown Detroit whilst you shout to the peasants: Let them eat cake! You could even hand out samples of your homemade organic focaccia—cause you’re generous like that.

It’s easy to pick out gifts for people you LOVE. Here are some ideas for everyone else.

For the boyfriend who hints that you’re ‘smothering’ him and will probably dump you after the holidays:

An 8.5x11” print from The Animal Print Shop by Sharon Montrose ($25)

For the hipster friend that scoffs at anything sold in big box stores:

The Elegant Cockroach, a storybook by Deidre Anne Martin, illustrated by Stefanie Augustine ($25)

“Love, Longing & Six Legs”
Literature, fine wine and a Spanish guitar are elegant pastimes.
But in the big city, passing the time simply isn’t enough.
The Elegant Cockroach longs for more…

Extra credit: Gift wrap it in a Pottery Barn box as a cute little ‘el-F’ you.

For the girlfriend who is so optimistic and supportive you can only hang out with her in small doses:

Flowers in a Can. Fred Flare ($11)

For the frat boy brother and his new frigid wife (who actually had the nerve to have a restaurant cater Thanksgiving *gasp*).

The Goode Company Classic Mesquite Smoked Brisket ($85)

For the ‘friend with benefits’ who likes to hide under the covers with you all afternoon—cause he’s unemployed.

Put a collection of $25 worth of scratch lotto tickets in a Muggle Mug. And then, spice things up by throwing in a fake WINNING tix before wrapping.  He’ll appreciate that surge of absolute JOY, no matter how fleeting.